Perfectly Imperfect

When I was in elementary school, my teachers would always tell me not to use the words “What If” to start a question. This is probably the worst suggestion I received in my academic career. 

The advice never made sense to me, even as a child. I thought that everyone should ask “What If” questions. Why not? We should think about what can potentially be, whether it be visions we have for our own life, or goals we have for our careers. It can excite, move, and empower us. 

Here’s one “What If” I have that has to do with both writing and life: What if we just stopped caring about what people think? 

Many thought leaders seem to be at the forefront of telling people not to worry about other people. According to entrepreneur and influencer Gary Vaynerchuk, “Letting somebody else dictate your life is immediate unhappiness. You’re not in control… Negative people latch onto positive people and try to seclude them from the world because that’s their energy.” 

WIlliam Zinsser in On Writing Well admitted that his advice to not care about what the reader thinks seems contradictory. “I’m talking about two different issues,” Zinsser writes. “You [the writer] are who you are, he is who he is, and either you’ll get along or you won’t.” More than being good writing advice, it’s also good life advice. 

Yes, communication matters. Communication requires clarity. The writer needs to ensure the reader understands the message being communicated. But what the reader thinks about the message is just not the writer’s business. We cannot control what a reader thinks about our thoughts, or whether they agree or disagree with it. The writer’s job is in their name – to write, and make sure what they’re writing makes sense. 

Zinsser encourages the writer to write for the audience of themself. This concept differs from what I have been taught as a designer; that design is never made for oneself. But in writing, it makes sense: if the writer does not like what they are writing, why should someone else bother reading it? There are many papers I have written, prior to and during college, that I have no interest in reading (If that sentence didn’t sink in just then, read it again). I, the writer, have no interest in reading some things that I wrote, mostly because it was written for someone else, and not for myself. 

What if we stopped caring about what other people think? We would begin to say things that more truly reflect what we believe. We would be able to communicate freely. We would be able to share ideas and improve our world. Is that not an essential part of what it means to be human? 

Here’s what I know for sure: I’m done writing things for other people that I don’t like myself, and I’m finished with not asking “What If” questions.